A Horseshoe Nail
by Nixariel
Summary: Asgard may be the home of the gods, but that doesn't make it heaven. A conversation between Loki and Urd about why he stayed. Anime-based, Loki/Mayura, rated T for mentioning Loki's past relationships.


Disclaimer: I do not own Matantei Loki Ragnarok or the Norse mythology. I know somebody owns MaLoRa, but if anybody owns Norse mythology than I am seriously worried about the rest of European culture.

This is based on the anime and takes place after episode 26. In other words, there are serious spoilers ahead. If you have only read the manga, you are going to be confused at the end due to a rather specific reference. Other than that, I hope you enjoy.

* * *

_The Horseshoe Nail_

_For want of a nail, the shoe was lost._

_For want of a shoe, the horse was lost._

_For want of a horse, the rider was lost._

_For want of a rider, the battle was lost._

_For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost._

_And all for the want of a horseshoe nail._

- George Herbert

Urd had come to visit me. She was curious as to why I had decided to stay here in Midgard.

"As a goddess of Fate, do you even need to ask such questions?" I don't believe in Fate and the Norns know it. It makes for interesting conversations.

"Just because I know what will happen does not mean I know why it happens."

I smile.

She tries to pin me with a look. "Loki..."

"I'm the god of Chaos, Urd. Isn't it my job to be contrary and fickle?"

"That's luck, not chaos."

"So you do believe in luck? How interesting, o goddess of the past."

She sniffs. Very few sensible people dare to provoke the Norns, especially the oldest sister, but I am a trickster. I've never had much of an interest in being sensible. Or safe, for that matter.

"It's that girl, isn't it? Mayura Daidoushi."

Damn! I did not want to discuss this, especially not with someone who was trying to kill me only a week ago. Five more minutes of discussing predetermined paths versus free choice and Yamino would have brought in my afternoon tea with Mayura on his heels. Urd would have left then and I would have successfully avoided divulging anything of importance. Instead, I have to do it the hard way.

"Mayura is amusing, to be sure, but my sons are much happier here than in Asgard."

Why lie when I can use the truth?

"Loki. I'm not asking as a Norn or even as a goddess. I'm asking as a sister."

Ah. Skuld. Not one of my better moments.

"Look, Urd, I did a lot of things in Asgard that I'm not particularly proud of. I know it may not mean much coming from me, but I am s-"

"I'm not asking for an apology."

Now I am surprised. Judging by how careful Skuld's sisters had been to include torture or humiliation as part of each assassination attempt, I had expected a sizable grudge against me for my admittedly cavalier treatment of their baby sister.

"Your conduct was deplorable, but heartbreak is part of life and Skuld will have to learn that sooner or later. Things... could have been worse."

There were stories that Urd had not always been so cold. Something about a captain and a hopeless battle...

"I'd watch out for Verdandi, though, if I were you. She is not as forgiving as I am. And Skuld does deserve an apology, I'm sure you agree."

Eeep. Urd may not want an apology, but she is definitely Not Happy with me.

"I am here, as Skuld's sister, because I need to know if you are serious about Mayura. Skuld still has hope, you see, and I don't want her led on because you seem single. So tell me... Did you give up Asgard for Mayura?"

I did not want to talk about this.

I certainly didn't want to be honest about it.

But I don't think I could lie this time. Only a foolish trickster tries to trick himself.

"Yes."

".... Why? She's nice enough, I suppose, pretty too, and her innocence is curiously appealing, but she also seems childish, annoying, and downright oblivious to the real mysteries under her very nose. What does she have that Sk- ...that is worth giving up Asgard for?"

She really _is_ here as a sister. The goddess I know would never have made that kind of slip.

"My leaving was never about what Skuld did or did not have. And Mayura is all the things you said... that, and more."

"Answer the question."

I'm not even sure why I answer.

"She's kind."

"... You're lying."

"No, I'm not. " Urd is one of the few who can tell. "Asgard is a place for greatness: great strength, great beauty, great passion...great destinies. There is no room there for simple kindness."

She leaves without another word.

---

I have loved many women and I have left them all. Most of them didn't deserve the way I treated them, but I sincerely believe that staying would have been worse. Either they would grow weary of my being enigmatic or, as heartless as it makes me sound, I would grow tired of their blind adoration. Neither of us would have been happy for long. But Mayura...

Mayura loves mystery. She thrives on a never-ending search for answers. Other women focus on what things I enjoy; Mayura casually dragoons me into doing what she wants to do and if I refuse, she'll just do it by herself. She wants to have me around, but she doesn't need me. And although she is definitely attracted to my true form, it is her friend the child that she searched for so desperately. That alone is worth tolerating all the crazy, ditzy things she does.

But I'm in love with Mayura because she tried to comfort a lost little doll.

* * *

Note #1: The poem at the beginning is about little things having great effects, butterflies causing hurricanes and all that jazz. I wanted to explore how that works in love. After all, we don't fall in love with someone just because they are nice or polite or good-looking. Most of the strangers we meet everyday would fall into at least one of those categories. We fall in love because of the way she crinkles her nose when she laughs or how his hands have to move when he talks. No one's ever fallen in love with a generality.

Note #2: I made up the bit about Urd and some random captain, but the idea came from a vaguely remembered series about the Norns by Robin Jarvis. Kinda creepy, but so is all of his work. For those who are interested, the first book is _The Woven Path_. The "lost little doll" is from episode 1 of the anime. Mayura is definitely not the brightest light in the fixture, but that doll tried to kill her and Mayura still felt badly for it even after Loki's voodoo stuff wore off. I can respect that.

She also

a) Knows what she wants (mysteries ...and Loki *_wiggles eyebrows suggestively_*),

b) Isn't afraid to go after it (even when it might be safer to just leave it ALONE, as in the aforementioned doll and Hel playing ghost),

c) Has no annoying insecurities (Maybe it's just me, but I have noticed a serious lack of well-adjusted individuals in anime and manga. There IS a middle ground between outright arrogance _cough*Inuyasha*cough_ and feelings of total inadequacy _cough*Tohru Honda*cough_. It's called "competence." See Zaraki for details.)

and

d) Does not dwell (Sometimes this is good, sometimes this is bad. On one hand, she might figure out more about Loki if she stopped to put things together. On the other, NO SELF-PITY moments. Or feelings of misplaced guilt. Or false cheerfulness to cover up Bad Things That Happened. It's so refreshing!).

All in all, I like this girl, and from what I hear about the manga, the anime doesn't do her justice.

Reviews are nice, but I'm not gonna beg. More'n half the time I don't do them myself, so it would be pretty hypocritical to suddenly go all needy. So I'll say thanks for reading, and an extra thanks to those kind enough (or with time enough) to review. See ya, folks!


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